It's that time of the year when folks are
creating their Christmas wish lists, with all the great stuff they hope to
acquire for free. I know I'm working on my list. But, perhaps more importantly,
I'm working on my Christmas Play List, a list of Christmas and holiday songs
that don't suck. Songs I'm willing (and in many cases, even eager) to listen
to. It's a good idea to make a list of your own, and it's important to get this
list out early, so that friends and family don't make any mistakes and put on
some horrible Christmas tunes (just think of all the bloodshed that could
be avoided if people would just stop playing Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful
Christmastime,” for example).
Here are the songs on this year's Christmas
Play List, presented in alphabetical order by song title, so that I could avoid
the task of having to rate them. By the way, traditional songs and newer, original
tunes are mixed together in this list.
- "7
O'Clock News/Silent Night" by Simon & Garfunkel -
Simon & Garfunkel do the most interesting and innovative version of
"Silent Night." They sing the first section of the song, while over
it a news broadcast is heard. The song begins with the vocals and piano, and
the newscast begins only a few moments later, and then increases in volume. The
juxtaposition of the newscast (with its information on a series of murders)
with the beautiful voices of Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel singing "Silent
Night" is incredible and effective.
- "2000
Miles" by The Pretenders - On the same album that found Chrissie Hynde
in the "Middle Of The Road" and "Back On The Chain Gang"
The Pretenders included this beautiful and moving Christmas song. Chrissie
sings, "In these frozen and silent nights/Sometimes in a dream, you
appear/Outside under the purple sky/Diamonds in the snow sparkle/Our hearts
were singing/It felt like Christmas time/2000 miles is very far through the
snow/I think of you wherever you go."
- “Baby,
It’s Cold Outside” by Ray Charles And Betty Carter - Ray
Charles and Betty Carter do what is probably the best version ever recorded of
"Baby, It's Cold Outside." It's so cool, so sexy, so much fun. It
starts off with a horn, but then quickly takes on a quiet, low-key tone, which is
just perfect for this song. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" isn't
specifically a Christmas song, but rather a winter song. For those unfamiliar
with it, this song is a conversation between a man and a woman, in which he
tries to convince her to stay the night. There is also the possibility that he
slipped her a mickey, as in the woman's line, "Say, what's in this
drink." The man ignores the question.
- “Baby,
It’s Cold Outside” by Zooey Deschanel and Leon Redbone - This
is a surprisingly wonderful and sweet rendition.
- “Baby,
It’s Cold Outside” by Tom Jones and Cerys Matthews - This
is a very playful, delightful version.
- “Baby,
It’s Cold Outside” by Bebe Neuwirth And John Lithgow - Bebe
Neuwirth and John Lithgow really play the song's inherent comedy well. Bebe
Neuwirth is particularly wonderful in her reading of the line "Say,
what's in this drink?" and also the line, "I ought to say no,
no, no." She actually has a great voice. And John Lithgow is funny,
especially in the improvised section. His "Bebe, baby" bit
will get laughs from most listeners.
- “Baby,
It’s Cold Outside” by Rory Partin
- This is another strong
rendition, which Rory Partin performs with his wife, Alexa James, joining him
on vocals. It’s a bit faster than many other versions, and there is some great
work on horns. This is a live version.
- “Boogie
Woogie Santa Claus” by Patti Page - This is actually a pretty cool tune, with a
good rhythm. It paints a slightly different picture of Santa: “He lives up in the mountains like a hermit
in a cave/Never had a haircut, never took a shave.”
- “Carol
Of The Bells” by Dan Hicks And The Hot Licks - "Carol
Of The Bells" starts as a beautiful rendition, but almost immediately
takes a strange bent with what sounds like The Chipmunks. Then it goes into a
hip, swinging scat version - with a bit of yodeling thrown in for good measure.
This is certainly the coolest, best version of this song ever recorded. (There
is even what sounds like a Louis Armstrong impression partway through.) "Carol
Of The Bells" was composed by Mykola Dmytrovych Leontovych in 1916.
- “Christmas
Bells” by Patti Page - “Christmas Bells” is a catchy tune written by
Harry Filler and Leonard Schroeder. It’s got a bit of swing to it, which is
cool. It starts, “The Christmas bells are
ringing/The holly’s at the window pane/I hear the children singing/It’s
Christmas again/The fire place is glowing.” It’s one of those Christmas
songs that paint an ideal picture of the world for the holiday, with lines like
“Crowds of smiling people greet you
everywhere.”
- “Christmas
Eve Tonight” by King Teddy - "Christmas Eve Tonight" is a slow
and sweet tune. The piano has an early rock and roll feel, and there is a cool
saxophone solo that refrains from straying to allusions to other Christmas
songs. Hurrah for that! And the vocals sound great. Here is a taste of the
lyrics: "Childhood wishes/Childhood memories speak from long
ago/Crystal snowflakes softly falling/Footprints in the snow/All your troubles,
let them be/Lay them out of sight/Let it snow on Christmas Eve/Christmas Eve
tonight." Simple, but nice. This isn't one of those ridiculously
overly happy Christmas songs. And I dig the bass line.
- "Christmas
Is Coming Twice This Year" by The Hollytones -
"Christmas Is Coming Twice This Year" is a wonderful little
tune about how divorce affects selfish children. The girl, Ashley, says to her
mom, "When we go to Dad's he gets anything we want. Are you going to
let him do that to you?" She also asks, "Can't you afford to
take care of me?" as she demands a larger television and a VCR. Then
it's the boy's turn. Brandon tells his father he wants a lot of pornographic
magazines and weapons. When his father expresses dismay, Brandon says, "All
Mom's getting me is a stupid new computer. She says that violent stuff warps my
head. She never lets me watch any slasher movies like you do, Dad. You know,
sometimes I wish she were dead."
- "Christmas
Is The Time To Say I Love You" by Billy Squier - This
song has a good beat, and a ton of heart. And Billy Squier's voice is just
amazing - he really has a unique voice, and he puts it to excellent use on this
song. "Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You" was originally
released as the flip side of his 1981 single, "My Kinda Lover."
- "Christmas
Time Is Here" by Vince Guaraldi - This
famous theme from A Charlie Brown
Christmas is a slow, sad, gorgeous tune. When people talk about the
peaceful feeling of Christmas, I always think of this song. Because for me
Christmas always seems to be a stressful time, and this song is the one thing
related to the holiday that really does have a calming effect. It's the one
indication or glimpse of that peace that is often spoken of. It has a special
warmth that really affects me every time I hear it.
- "Christmas
Wrapping" by The Waitresses - "Christmas Wrapping" by The
Waitresses is absolutely one of the best Christmas songs ever written (I would
say second only to The Pogues' "Fairytale Of New York"). It's totally
fun, it has a great rhythm, and it has a sweet and happy ending. It tells the
story of a woman who's tired and has decided to keep the holiday low-key. She
sings, "So deck those halls, trim those trees/Raise up cups of
Christmas cheer/I just need to catch my breath/Christmas by myself this year."
- “Do
They Know It’s Christmas?” by Band Aid
- "Do They Know It's
Christmas?" is an excellent song by Bob Geldof and Band Aid. This was
released as a single in November of 1984. Everybody from the pop world is on
this recording, including David Bowie, Duran Duran, Culture Club, Wham, U2,
Spandau Ballet, The Boomtown Rats, Big Country and Bananarama.
- "Donde
Esta Santa Claus" by Toni Stante
- Toni Stante's "Donde Esta
Santa Claus" is a seriously fun and silly tune. There is a section that is
just completely wonderful, where she sings, "I hope he won't forget/To crack his castanets/And to his reindeer
say/Oh Pancho, oh Vixen, oh Pedro, oh Blitzen, Ole, ole, ole."
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. This is a song to brighten everyone's holiday.
- "Fairytale
Of New York" by The Pogues
- Who would imagine that the best
Christmas song would be by an Irish folk-punk band? And who could guess that a
song with the line "Happy Christmas, your arse, I pray God it's our
last" would be one of the sweetest songs ever recorded? Well,
"Fairytale Of New York" by The Pogues is by far the best song ever
written for this holiday, and it is indeed truly sweet. It starts out on
Christmas Eve in the drunk tank, and the man's thoughts turn to his woman and
he says, "I've got a feeling this year's for me and you/So happy
Christmas/I love you, baby/I can see a better time when all our dreams come
true." The woman's part is included too (sung by Kristy MacColl), as
she reflects back on their relationship: "When you first took my hand
on a cold Christmas Eve, you promised me Broadway was waiting for me."
They trade compliments and insults, while "The boys of the NYPD choir
were singing 'Galway Bay.'" Kristy sings, "You took my dreams
from me when I first found you." He replies, "I kept them with
me, babe/And I put them with my own/Can't make it all alone/I built my dreams
around you."
- "Father
Christmas" by The Kinks - "Father Christmas" is one of the
best Christmas rock songs. For those who are unfamiliar with this Christmas
tune, here are some of the lyrics: "Father Christmas, give us some
money/Don't mess around with your silly toys/We'll beat you up if you don't
hand it over/We want your bread, so don't make us annoyed/Give all the toys to
the little rich boys." The first line is, "When I was small I
believed in Santa Claus, though I knew it was my dad." "Father
Christmas" was written by Ray Davies.
- “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" by Spooner Oldham, Tammy Rogers, Oteil Burbridge, Billy Crain, and Marco Giovino - This excellent instrumental rendition has a southern rock folk vibe that I dig. So by the time that familiar section of the song comes round, I’m already completely on board. This version, on The Southern Christmas Songbook & Hymnal CD, has a fun vibe that this song usually lacks.
- “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" by Spooner Oldham, Tammy Rogers, Oteil Burbridge, Billy Crain, and Marco Giovino - This excellent instrumental rendition has a southern rock folk vibe that I dig. So by the time that familiar section of the song comes round, I’m already completely on board. This version, on The Southern Christmas Songbook & Hymnal CD, has a fun vibe that this song usually lacks.
- “Have Yourself A
Merry Little Christmas” by Willis Jackson - “Have
Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” is a song I’ve never really cared much for. But
Willis Jackson finds something delicious and wonderful in it, and I actually
wish it went on a bit longer, as the horn is excellent at the end. There is a
disco element to it, but it doesn’t overpower the song. It’s the lead sections
on saxophone that really make this rendition something special.
- “Here Comes
Santa Claus” by Dan Hicks And The Hot Licks
- This is the coolest version of
"Here Comes Santa Claus." It has swing, it has scat, and it has
fiddle and some jazzy piano. What more could anyone ask for?
- "I
Believe In Father Christmas" by Emerson, Lake & Palmer -
Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "I Believe In Father Christmas"
is a beautiful song, though it's about the loss of innocence. It was written by
Greg Lake and Peter Sinfield. This song features some excellent lyrics,
including these lines: "They sold me a dream of Christmas/They sold me
a silent night/They told me a fairy story/'Til I believed in the Israelite/And
I believed in Father Christmas/And I looked to the sky with excited eyes/When I
woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn/And I saw him and through his
disguise."
- “I Can’t Help
It, I Just Like Christmas” by Rick Moranis - This is
a very silly tune. As you might guess, the song is about a Jewish man who
enjoys the Christian holiday. And every time he sings the line, “I know it’s not supposed to be for us,”
he cracks me up. This song has a great country atmosphere, with some nice work
on guitar.
- “I’ll Be Home
For Christmas” by Willis Jackson
- Often, instrumental is the way
to go to avoid the pitfalls of the Christmas covers, and Willis Jackson does a
beautiful instrumental rendition of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.”
- "It's
Christmas And I Wonder Where I Am" by The Bob And Tom Band - “It's Christmas And I Wonder Where I Am"
is about that most wonderful of holiday traditions - getting completely
sloshed. The vocals are sung as if by Dudley Moore in Arthur. Here is a
taste of the lyrics: "I had a beer at my brother's/Had eggnog at my
mother's/Then two bottles of wine/Which automobile is mine?/It's Christmas and
I wonder where I am/Someone caught me dancing with a snowman/A policeman came
and put me in his car/He said, 'Are you drunk?'/And I said, 'No, man, but could
you drop me off at the next bar?'"
- "Jingle
Bell Rock" by Bobby Rydell and Chubby Checker - “Jingle
Bell Rock” is one of those classic Christmas songs that's actually pretty cool.
This version is from 1961, and actually reached #21 on the Billboard Hot 100.
It's the saxophone part that really works, though the section right after it in
which they trade off lyrics is a bit annoying. But pay attention, and you'll
hear a reference to Chubby Checker's "Pony Time," which was also
released in 1961.
- “Jingle
Bells” by The Ventures - Some Christmas songs only work as
instrumentals. The Ventures prove that "Jingle Bells" is one such
song with their excellent rendition of the holiday classic. The electric guitar
does what would be the vocal line, and it sounds great. The Ventures take what
is normally a rather stupid song, and make it cool.
- "Joy
To The World" by Aretha Franklin
- Aretha Franklin can really belt
out a tune like nobody's business. She makes "Joy To The World"
seriously rock in this gospel-flavored number. This is certainly one of the
best versions of this song ever recorded. There is enough power here to make
even the staunchest of atheists cry out "Hallelujah."
- “Let
It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” by Ella Fitzgerald - Ella
Fitzgerald's version of "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" is
one of the best renditions of this song. But of course Ella could probably make
any song sound cool. "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" was
written by Jule Styne and Sammy Cahn.
- "Let
It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" by Wynton Marsalis - Wynton
Marsalis’ version of "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" is very
cool. Wynton breathes new life into the song, finding interesting place for
improvisation.
- “Little
Drummer Boy” by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - "Little
Drummer Boy" is one of the better songs played during the Christmas
holidays, and this version by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts is probably the
best ever recorded. It's close enough to the original to not upset the
traditionalists too much, but has a wonderful rock edge to please everyone
else. The rock element takes over nearly three minutes in for the instrumental
section of the song, and features some great guitar. Joan Jett has an awesome
voice, and the backing vocals are also particularly wonderful on this
rendition.
- "Merry
Christmas" by The Cameos - "Merry Christmas" is an original
tune performed by The Cameos. It was recorded in 1957, and has that great 1950s
rock vibe and fun backing vocals. This is a song for your Christmas sock hop.
- "Merry
Christmas, Baby" by James Brown -
James Brown did what is probably the best version ever of "Merry
Christmas, Baby." His voice sounds amazing, and the horns are fantastic.
There is something undeniably sexy about this rendition, with its bluesy tones.
"Merry Christmas, Baby" was written by Lou Baxter and Johnny Moore.
- “O
Tannenbaum” by Vince Guaraldi - A
Charlie Brown Christmas begins with Vince Guaraldi's arrangement of the
traditional Christmas tune "O Tannenbaum." This is by far the best
rendition I've ever heard of the song. It begins with a truly pretty piano solo
of the song's main theme. And then the song takes on a cool jazz groove, while
retaining the piano's beauty from the opening moments. Vince Guaraldi certainly
makes this song his own, and in doing so greatly improves upon it. And I dig
that great work on bass.
- "The
Pause Of Mr. Claus" by Arlo Guthrie - "The
Pause Of Mr. Claus" is dedicated to the members of the F.B.I., and in his
introduction to the song Arlo talks about the difficulties of having that job.
Like "Alice's Restaurant," the song itself is quite short (it’s the
wonderful story that is nice and long). Here are some of the lyrics: "Santa
Clause has a red suit/He's a communist/And a beard, and long hair/Must be a
pacifist/What's in the pipe that he's smoking?"
- "The
Pretty Little Dolly" by Mona Abboud - "The Pretty Little Dolly" is one of
the funniest, silliest Christmas songs ever recorded. It was written by Jim
Fisk, and sung by Mona Abboud. Here is a taste of the lyrics, sung in a little
girl voice: "The pretty little dolly can sing/The pretty little dolly
can shout/Hold her footsies high above her head, and she passes out/The pretty
little dolly can plead/The pretty little dolly can beg/And she screams in
realistic pain when you break her leg."
- “Pretty
Snowflakes” by Patti Page – This is a very playful tune about winter and
snow, not about Christmas specifically, and perhaps that’s part of what makes
this one so good. It’s really a delightful song. “Pretty snowflakes/Pretty snowflakes/Falling down from the sky/How I
wonder where you come from/As you flutter by.” Of course, it does have that
overly optimistic portrait of humanity present in so many Christmas songs, with
lines like, “The whole world is smiling
and bundled up tight/Oh, what a wonderful sight.”
- “Santa
Baby” by Wendy Malick - Wendy Malick doesn't have the greatest voice,
but for the compilation NBC Celebrity
Christmas, she picked a song she could have some fun with, and she
certainly does that. Who wouldn't get her a sable coat when she playfully
teases, "I've been an awful good girl"? This is one of the
most fun of all the songs on this album. At the end she sings, "Hurry down my chimney tonight," and
then purrs. There is some nice work on guitar by Tim Pierce, and on piano by
Ellis Hall.
- "Santa
Claus Is Comin' To Town" by Joseph Spence -
Joseph Spence does the absolute best version of "Santa Claus Is
Comin' To Town." He hardly sings it at all, just mumbles a few of the
lines, and that's what helps to make it such a great version. Because,
seriously, those lyrics aren't any good. And it's wonderful how he calls him
"Santy Claw." And his guitar work is fantastic.
- "Santa
Claus Is Comin' To Town" by Bruce Springsteen -
Bruce Springsteen introduces his famous rendition of "Santa Claus
Is Comin' To Town" by saying, "It's all cold down along the beach.
The wind's whipping down the boardwalk." He asks his band if they've
all been good "and practicing real hard." He then asks the
audience if they've been good. The audience responds. And Bruce teases them,
"That's not many. You guys are in trouble out here." This is
certainly one of the only versions of this song worth listening to, mostly
because Bruce Springsteen is clearly having fun with it. Another thing that
makes recording worth listening to is the part where he breaks the song down
and sings, "You better be good for goodness sake." He does
that twice during the song. And the last thing making this worthwhile is of
course Clarence Clemons on saxophone.
- "Santa
Claus Is Watching You" by Ray Stevens -
"Santa Claus Is Watching You" is a song about the paranoia
engendered by the Santa Claus myth. The best part of this song is the alarmed
little child shouting out, "He's everywhere! He's everywhere!"
This song also has Rudolph laid up from a busted hip (from a Twist contest),
and his replacement is a camel named Clyde. Why not?
- “Santa
Looked A Lot Like Daddy” by Buck Owens - Buck
Owens’ “Santa Looked A Lot Like Daddy,” which he co-wrote with Don Rich, is a
very playful song. Here is a taste of the lyrics: “Santa looked a lot like Daddy/Or Daddy looked a lot like him/It’s not
the way I had him pictured/Santa was much too thin/He didn’t come down the
chimney/So mama must have let him in.”
- "Santa's On
His Way" by The Ad Libs - While The Ad Libs' tune, "Santa's On His
Way," isn't fantastic, it definitely has charm. A good deal of its appeal is in its a
cappella delivery. And I can't help but
like the lines, "Don't you know
little things you say and do/Will make ol' Santa Claus think an awful lot of
you." And the second time she sings it, she changes the second line to
"Will make ol' Santa Claus bring a
lot of things to you."
- “Santa’s
Workshop” by Dan Hicks And The Hot Licks
- "Santa's Workshop" is
hilarious. Try not to laugh out loud while listening to it. It's not only the
lyrics, but the delivery, as he sings lines like, "Come on, boys, gotta
make about a million toys/Gotta paint one red, paint one blue/Paint that one
over there blue too." It's the pause before "blue too" that sells it.The song features silly and wonderful
backing vocals. And when the song couldn't possibly get any better - or sillier
- along comes a kazoo solo.
- "Silent
Night" by Elvin Bishop - Is it possible to turn "Silent
Night" into a rock song and make it work? Absolutely. Elvin Bishop's
version is seriously good, and it does have a bit of a gospel flavor to it.
Great work on piano and excellent backing vocals make this rendition even
better.
- "Sock It To
Me Santa" by Bob Seger And The Last Heard - Yes,
long before The Silver Bullet Band (and even before The Bob Seger System), Bob
Seger had a band called The Last Heard. And with that band he recorded a
Christmas song titled "Sock It To Me Santa." This song freely borrows
from James Brown's "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag," but it's a lot of
fun and you get the feeling that James Brown wouldn't mind at all.
- “Somebody Stole
My Santa Claus Suit” by Dan Hicks And The Hot Licks - "Somebody
Stole My Santa Claus Suit" starts with a great instrumental introduction,
complete with "Jingle Bells" and "Santa Claus Is Coming To
Town" teases. Then it kicks in with some great lyrics: "Deck the
halls and what the hell/I still got my jingle bell/So, sucker, you can keep the
suit/'Cause frankly I don't give a hoot." This song is a bit of folk,
a bit of swing, a bit of jazz, and just a whole lot of fun. It features an
instrumental section that is wonderful. And the female vocalists are delightful
as they sing, "Did somebody steal your Santa Claus suit?"
- "Teddi's
Song (When Christmas Comes)" by John Mellencamp - John
Mellencamp's "Teddi's Song (When Christmas Comes)" is actually a
sweet song. The lyrics are a bit on the weak side, but the feeling is so
positive and bright that it's hard to dislike the song. Here is a bit of the
lyrics: "When Christmas comes/The world will lay down its arms/When
Christmas comes/We'll all sing 'Silent Night'/Lots of toys for the girls and
boys/Hope, hope, hope it's a peaceful world/When Christmas comes."
- “The Twelve
Gifts Of Christmas” by Allan Sherman
- "The Twelve Gifts Of
Christmas" is of course a parody of "The Twelve Days Of
Christmas." So what makes this parody better than most of the other
parodies of that song? Part of the humor of this song comes from forcing a lot
more words into a line than should fit. For example, "On the eleventh
day of Christmas, my true love gave to me/An automatic vegetable slicer that
works when you see it on television, but not when you get it home." And
more of the humor comes from the little explanations Allan Sherman inserts
after a line. For example, after the line "And a Japanese transistor
radio," he sings, "And it has a wire with a thing on one end
that you/Can stick in your ear, and a thing on the other end/That you can't
stick anywhere, because it's bent." And for those who find "The
Twelve Days Of Christmas" tiresome by like the sixth or seventh verse,
Allan Sherman can totally relate. In his parody he sings, "And all that
other stuff" sometimes, rather than actually listing everything again
and again.
- "The Twelve
Pains Of Christmas" by Bob Rivers Comedy Corp. -
"The Twelve Pains Of Christmas" is probably the best of the
many parodies of "The Twelve Days Of Christmas." It lists all (well,
not all - only twelve) things that are very annoying about the holiday,
including "Five months of bills, sending Christmas cards, hangovers,
rigging up the lights and finding a Christmas tree." As the song
continues, more details are added, and that's when it gets really funny,
particularly the guy who is trying to rig up the Christmas lights. He gets more
and more frustrated, saying, "What - we have no extension cords?"
and "Now why the hell are they blinking?" and "One
light goes out, they all go out." This is a song that most everyone
can relate to.
- “Winter
Wonderland” by King Teddy - This is a great early rock and roll-style
rendition, done as an instrumental, the saxophone doing what would be the lead
vocal line. This is one of the best versions of this song I've ever heard. It's
just pure fun, and is almost enough to put me in the holiday spirit. I love the
section that is just drums and saxophone.
