William Shatner: “Where Will The Animals Sleep: Songs For Kids And Other Living Things” (2024) CD Review

William Shatner seems to be busier now than at any other time in his career – writing a new book and recording the audio version of it, releasing several new albums, doing multiple television appearances and live appearances, being the subject of a documentary, and, oh yeah, going up into space. Someone told me he’s 93 years old. I don’t buy it for a second. I have been watching his television appearances, and he looks to be in his mid-sixties. Which begs the question: What happened to him up in space? He must have encountered some anomaly from a Star Trek script that has completely stopped, even reversed, his aging process. I have a team of nerds looking into it. Meanwhile, I’ve been enjoying his latest release, Where Will The Animals Sleep: Songs For Kids And Other Living Things. Yes, he released a children’s album. And why not? The man can do anything. By the way, he co-wrote all the songs on this album, with Robert Sharenow and Daniel Miller. Daniel Miller is also responsible for basically all the instruments on these tracks, as well as the backing vocals.

The album opens with “Elephants And Termites,” and like fifteen or twenty seconds into it, I am laughing for joy. Truly. This is a total delight. We get to hear William Shatner sing these lines: “When elephants get itchy butts/They squirm and jump and twitch/It’s not like they can use their trunks/To scratch a nasty itch.” And the music is like a delirious march down a Louisiana street. Toward the end, the music drops out as William Shatner imitates an elephant with an itch. This song is exactly what you need to get through even the most tedious of days. You have a series of boring meetings at work? Just play this song. That’s followed by “Oh My Honeyguide,” which has a decidedly sweeter vibe, particularly to his vocal approach. And I love Daniel Miller’s backing vocal work. Adam Hamilton plays drums on this track. This song has an important message, which is probably more important for adults today to hear than children: “When you help one another/They might just help you back.”

I love the combination of the playful music with the authority of William Shatner’s delivery on a track like “7000 Miles On A Non-Stop Flight.”  Look, he is clearly having a great time, but his voice does carry some authority. Anyway, this song is about migrating birds, and at moments, he begins to pick up the pace, caught up in the excitement of what he’s imparting to us about these birds. At one point, he exclaims, “They are amazing things!” Just before the end, he delivers a nice message to the kids: “If a bird can fly that far/Up in the wildest blue/Imagine all the wondrous things/That you can likely do.” Then sound effects take us to the ocean at the beginning of “Barnacle Bill The Sailor,” and here Bill Shatner becomes Barnacle Bill. “There’s lots of stuff I stick to well/Like rocks and sunken ships and shells,” he tells us. Yup, a song told from the perspective of a barnacle, something that doesn’t often get such a great voice speaking on its behalf. “Although we look like zits to some/We do no harm to anyone.”

“Chomp, Chomp, Chomp” is about a beaver (no dirty jokes, this is a children’s album, for Pete’s sake). So many lines from this song make me smile, such as “Fur’s so pretty/I’d look great on a hat/Well, please don’t go/And make a hat outa me” and… well, actually the entire thing has me smiling. It’s William Shatner’s delivery. He is so into character. Is there anyone who doesn’t love William Shatner? “Let’s sing along/Here we go.” And I like that bass line. Then “Mushrooms Talk To Trees” makes me even happier. Check out these lines, which begin the song: “Well, I never talk to mushrooms/And if you ask me why/Well, I’ve yet to meet an interesting fungai.” I don’t think I’ve ever talked to a mushroom, but I’ve had some mushrooms talk to me. This album itself is a wonderful trip, and this song has a good bluesy groove. “I’m telling you, mushrooms talk to trees/As amazing as it sounds/Hey, they chit chat underground.”

“Where Would The Animals Sleep” has a gentler sound as it begins, and William Shatner’s delivery is warm and intimate. “I wish you sweet dreams/Of only good things/Bright yellow sunbeams/And new songs to sing.” This is seriously an excellent song, with a beautiful message for children and adults alike. “Before closing your eyes/Make one wish for me/By finding a star/The brightest one you can see/For we share the Earth/Yes, we’re not alone/So wish every animal/A home of their own.” I love his delivery. There is a change in his tone toward the end, when he addresses a certain type of person: “Some people don’t care/About beaches or trees/Bulldozing and building/Wherever they please/Tearing down forests/And polluting the seas.” This album is a lot of fun, no question, but this song is moving and wonderful. It’s one of my favorite songs of the year so far. Then in “Aphids And Ants,” William Shatner takes on the persona of an aphid. Because, again, he can do anything. There is goofy and delightful backing vocal work echoing many of the lines.

“I’m A Coral See In The Coral Sea” is another that had me laughing with its opening lines, “This may come as quite a shock/But I’m not a rock/Or a ceramic block.” Again, it’s his delivery, and I’m beginning to think he’s the only person who could present these songs to us. I mean, sure, it might be amusing to hear artists cover these tracks, Taylor Swift or Bruce Springsteen, but it just wouldn’t work. On this track, he is singing from the perspective of coral. “So please don’t touch or step on me/‘Cause you’ll break off/All my algae.” “I’m A Coral See In The Coral Sea” was written by William Shatner, Robert Sharenow and Marty Beller. Adam Hamilton joins him again on drums for “The Rhino’s Guard,” and rhythm does indeed play a prominent role in this song, not just the drumming, but the rhythm of William Shatner’s vocals. This track is a lot of fun. “Upon my back/There’s a peck, peck, peck/That I sometimes I feel/From my tail to my neck.”

There is a sweet sound to the music as “Why Do We Bug You” starts. And, dear lord, you actually feel for his character as William Shatner sings, “People don’t like us/It’s sad, but it’s true/Whether we fly, crawl or dig/Are black, brown or blue/But I’m telling you insects/Are misunderstood.” He provides examples of some of the benefits of insects. Sure, but not even William Shatner is going to get me to appreciate a mosquito. That’s followed by “Secret Agent Whale.” As this one begins, William Shatner’s vocals are supported just by finger snaps. This one is particularly goofy and wonderful, as it isn’t just William Shatner taking on the character of an animal, but the animal then in turn taking on the character of a secret agent. “A tuna’s my informant/But I cannot lie/Might be a double agent/He’s quite a fishy guy.” You just have to hear it. But, yeah, apparently Russia engaged beluga whales as spies. What an odd world. The album then concludes with “Birdsong Symphony,” where William Shatner sings about different types of birds, and we hear various bird sounds. “Ravens are sneaky/They have thirty-three calls/That mean different things.” Meanwhile, we also hear the sounds of strings. Shatner he leaves us with this thought: “There’s beauty and magic/In all of these sounds/So let’s sing together/Hope peace can be found.”

CD Review

1. Elephants And Termites
2. Oh My Honeyguide
3. 7000 Miles On A Non-Stop Flight
4. Barnacle Bill The Sailor
5. Chomp, Chomp, Chomp
6. Mushrooms Talk To Trees
7. Where Would The Animals Sleep
8. Aphids And Ants
9. I’m A Coral See In The Coral Sea
10. The Rhino’s Guard
11. Why Do We Bug You
12. Secret Agent Whale
13. Birdsong Symphony

Where Will The Animals Sleep: Songs For Kids And Other Living Things was released on May 17, 2024, and is available on both CD and vinyl (the record is apparently on both green and yellow vinyl).