Avoid These Mistakes When Choosing A Band Name

I like creative band names. Really, I do. But I’ve come across some names, especially in recent years, that, while I’m sure the artists thought to be creative, are in actuality simply juvenile and moronic. So let me provide a few guidelines for those artists who are looking for a name for themselves.

1. Don’t put a dollar sign in your name in place of the letter “S.” That might have been slightly creative by the first person who did it (I’m being generous here), but now makes you look like a greedy imbecile who cares more about money than music, and who has no original ideas.
2. Whether it is a band name or a song title, please do not put the numeral 2 (or, dear lord, the Roman numeral II) in place of the word “To,” or the numeral 4 in place of the word “For.” I promise you, no one thinks you’re clever. In a related note, don’t put the numeral 5 in your name and tell me it’s pronounced like the letter “S.” It isn’t.
3. Don’t string a bunch of consonants together and claim the name is pronounced as if there were vowels in there. Put in the vowels. Otherwise, your band name is just a meaningless list of letters. Or it could be taken as an abbreviation. Either way, it’s not pronounced like a word. For example, CSN (the abbreviation for Crosby, Stills & Nash) isn’t pronounced like “cousin” or something.

Following these few tips will help you avoid getting stuck with an embarrassingly stupid band name.