Me & Mr. Cigar (2020) Book Review

A few years ago Butthole Surfers founding member and vocalist Gibby Haynes wrote a novel aimed at young adults, and its cover shows a severed hand in a dog’s mouth. So, yes, I was curious about Me & Mr. Cigar. And, yes, it’s an odd one, as you would expect both from someone who is into psychedelics with a history of wild stage antics, and from a glance at the cover. Its plot features a magic dog, a road trip, sinister government agents, and some strange technology that adjusts reality, or rather perceptions of reality. And it all moves at a fast pace.

When the story begins, G. Oscar Lester III is twelve years old, member of a rich family with servants and a house so high on a hill that it is nearly impossible to ever lose sight of it. Except once he had gotten lost in the woods, for only there is he unable to see his house. And it is there that he meets Mr. Cigar, an unusual dog that leads him out of the woods, and from then on is his companion, even coming back to life after bullies kill him. And after the dog comes back to life, a dog-like flying creature named Blip appears, and things start to get a little strange. And that’s only, what, twelve pages in? Soon after that, Oscar’s sister’s hand is bitten off by the flying creature.

The book then moves ahead in time by five years, when Rachel (his sister) is a “highly successful artist living in New York City” (p. 19), not bad for a twenty-two-year-old, and Oscar is working for IBC (Itty Bitty Corporation, not the root beer company), not bad for a seventeen-year-old. Interestingly, the book shifts perspectives, now told from Oscar’s point of view, as it will remain until just before the end. So the story is told by a teenager, and has that sort of feel to it. And, as you might guess, there is a good deal of humor to this book, sometimes in the way a thought or description is delivered. Haynes writes: “With a few phone calls a year and visiting her in the city one spring break, our childhood together was basically over. Even though it really ended the day her hand came off, it was definitely final when the rest of her body actually moved away” (p. 51). And I love this line: “The closer we get to everything, the farther away ‘nothing’ becomes” (p. 67). And this: “face accidentally making contact with reality” (p. 70). And I could not help but laugh at this: “whatever the devil’s wife looks like, she must be hot” (p. 134). And anyone who has done a fair amount of LSD will relate to this: “It’s so weird – if I think about breathing I have to think to breathe, and it’s totally confusing because sometimes I catch myself holding my breath, and I don’t know if it’s because I forgot to not think about breathing or vice versa” (p. 73).

And though this story isn’t about music, music certainly plays a part, as a DJ is hired to play a crazy party, and there are many music references throughout the book. I appreciate that early on Haynes writes, “I just don’t like house music” and “the music all sounds kind of the same” (p. 35), though later, under the influence, Oscar changes his mind, saying, “I realize now, house music is totally cool” (p. 71). I don’t think I could possibly take enough drugs to make me enjoy house music. But who knows? Might be worth a try. The music references in this book are to all sorts of different artists, from The Beatles and the Grateful Dead to Black Flag and Nirvana, from MC5 to Patsy Cline, and even Kenny G. And the chapter titles contain playful music references. For example, there is a chapter titled “Lake Emerson And Palmer,” and another titled “Counting Flowers On The Wall,” and one titled “The Star Of A Hollywood Movie” (think “Spill The Wine”). Also, this book contains some delightfully odd illustrations by Gibby Haynes (the front cover art is by Dana Ledl). The book provides a fun time for both teenagers and adults.

Me & Mr. Cigar was published on January 14, 2020.